I've been having a small crisis here for a while now, explains the lack of posts and the low quality of the work I produce. I haven't done anything good for quite some time, I feel like I can't even draw anymore (or if I ever could), I'm completely lost with colours, my compositions are dull, pretty much everything sucks. I've really questioned wheather I even have what it takes to pursue this illustration thing. I know I'm pretty new at this and it takes time, but I feel like I'm going backwards. I know it's partly because I feel I don't really have a style, and that makes me try too hard and try to be something I'm not. That never works out for anybody.
I feel like crap. I hate to complain, but it seems to be the only thing I'm good at at the moment, so I'm sticking with it.
If something happens between me and the pencil again, you'll know about it.
10 comments:
Don't Give up!
Your an amazing artist, and you DO have what it takes to be an illustrator.
You've got one the most impressive art blogs, that I've seen. You DON'T suck.
Moi Maarit,
Yhdyn täysin Lukasin mielipiteeseen. Olen suurella mielenkiinnolla seurannut blogiasi ja voin vakuuttaa että olet oikealla tiellä. Aivan hämmästyttävää jälkeä ja tyylikin on kyllä selkeästi tunnistettavissa sinun tyyliksesi... Tällainenkin taiteesta mitään ymmärtämätön palikka on kiinnostunut työstäsi tosi paljon ja seuraan mielenkiinnolla mitä seuraavaksi julkaiset. Älä vain lopeta, sillä olen yksi niistä, jonka päivää piristät taiteellasi. Itse asiassa, ajattelinkin palkata sinut suunnittelemaan tulevalle firmalleni logon tässä jonkun ajan sisällä, mikäli otat sellaisia toimeksiantoja vastaan... Muunkinlaista grafiikkaa saattaisin tarvita.
Terveisin,
Jarkko Latvala
Man, this happens to me ALL THE TIME. I actually saved this to my desktop because it described a certain state I am in very often myself.
As weird as it sounds, these phases are actually helpful, though they don´t seem like that. On certain days every line I do feels like crap, and I feel like I lack the most basic drawing skills. It depends whether or not really fighting this by trying extra hard is helpful or not.
The crazy thing is, by posting how you feel you actually helped ME. See, I haven´t be posting stuff since over a week either, because I fell off it again.
A bad phase isn´t the end of your career - most artist feel shitty all the time. Yeah, that doesn´t make it better, but what helps is taking a step back and stop taking it that seriously. I would wish for a constant upwards line as much as you, but there are always many bumps in the road, as with everything in live. And I sure as hell know what you mean when you feel like actually getting WORSE again.
Good luck and keep it up.
Frederik
Also: Finnish is funny ;)
Thank you Lukas! I really appreciate it. I would never give up drawing altogether, it's just this professional thing that I'm struggling with! And anyway, I'm feeling a lot better already.
Kiitos Jarkko! Nimi kuulosti itse asiassa tutulta. Ollaanko oltu samalla kurssilla joskus? Kiva kuulla että seurailet blogia ja onnea tulevalle firmalle! Olen tehnyt logoja jonnin verran aikaisemmin, uusi projekti kiinnostaa aina. Ota yhteyttä vaikka maililla kun on ajankohtaista!
Frederik, I'm glad it helped you, it helped me too. I felt a little better the minute I posted the rant, it kind of helped me let go a bit. I took a day off drawing completely (meaning I didn't draw, think about drawing, or feel guilty about not drawing), which I haven't done in months. Ok, maybe I thought about it a bit, but much less than usual. I feel more optimistic now, and instead of forcing myself to draw, I actually can't wait to pick up the pencil again.
So, all is well in my universe again! I'm a bit of a drama queen sometimes.
*yeah.. you are ;)
Hey Maarit,
Thanks for your thought on my new piece. I didn´t think this would turn out so well, I added a couple of shade-tones mostly in the face, which I don´t do regulary, but I think it give it more depth.
This drawing was done in A4, which is the normal copy/printing paper here in Germany - the size you can buy everywhere, and I usually use just that cheap printing paper, which doesn´t suffer from standard ink-pen use. It isn´t very inspirational like thick, sand-coloured drawing paper, but, well, it does the job. The only piece in recent memory that was larger than that was the Pinocchio one, which was exactly twice the size.
What I wanted to ask you is how your experimentation with "straight to the paper" illustration is doing, I remember you mentioned trying that out. I just came back to that as you might already know from my last post.
I hope to see more from you in the future, it would be a shame to see someone like you slow down or, even worse, give up hope. As I said, I´ve been in a lazy and unispired period lately, and contributing to IF and checking out how much comments I can get (isn´t that addicting, getting the highest number of comments? It´s like trying to get a highscore in Tetris somehow...) is pretty stimulation again.
If I am really losing it, than the best thing for me is to do little nonsensical, silly, or obscene drawings just for fun. That usually helps. If I don´t spend the days on the internet and gaming, that is ;)
Cheers,
Fred
*Reading the words of Frederik the Sage... makes me think what do you need me for?! ;)
Thanx for your message on my blog. I too think we're in similar situations. Personaly, i'm in the process is getting my website up, printing business/promo cards and mailing them off!
In regards to slumps and knowing your "style", like Fred said, it happens. Just slow down and think about what "you" most like to do. What subjects and in what style do you most like to work in. Try to not get other things or events get in the way of your work time. I recently moved back to the city and i'm distracted alot. But i'm also inspired about what i can do artisticly. You just got do it!
I really don't know what your dilema is about your style. You "have" a style and you do it well. Your pieces are thought provoking and a joy to look at.
So keep your chin up, fellow Virgo-nian. We tend to over critize our work. We're bound to have our ups & downs... Let's just say you're in an upward rebound :)
I tend to babble alot.. i hope this helped :/
Ariel
Thanks Ariel! And don't worry, for indeed sage you are too. I really like that word, sage.. I had to look it up, but now I'm going to use it in every sentence I possibly can.
You're so right about the over critizising my own work, that is propably my biggest problem. Drawing should be fun, that's when you get the best results. I made a desicion to not worry about the style anymore, I'm just going to do whatever I like! Chances are the results will look like they're made by the same person, and that's enough style for now!
It's been a long time since i comment here. but i am still watching! and enjoying!
i could have write what you said.
don't despair! it happens all the time i think, and even if these are not good moments, it shows that you are on the way ; like a king of process (like child when they grow, one day they walk, and then they don't remember how to speak...).
aaa, sorry for my poor english!
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